I was used to rejection in the job market. It gave me useful resilience, and I learned not to take rejection personally. Yet I still wanted to be accepted even when I wouldn’t have chosen the other person. Sometimes I even hoped they would reject me so I wouldn’t have to do it. Delivering bad news was harder than receiving it. I’d be a terrible recruiter.
Comparing the job market with dating is cold. But they have things in common, and calling them unfair won’t make those things disappear. Your profile is one among many: a photo and a short bio, probably much like dozens of others. The other person makes a quick assessment and presses the X.
On a date, there are two people choosing. You only need to answer one question together: do you want to meet again? Simple, right? That’s where the dating rule I’ve heard so many times comes in: if you’re interested in someone, they aren’t interested in you. If they’re interested in you, you aren’t interested in them. It isn’t a law of nature, but it explains why mutual interest feels so rare.
You have to learn to hear no and shrug it off. Some of those noes come from the other person, some from you. One piece of advice: don’t try to charm someone whose approval you don’t even care about. Be polite and respectful, but don’t play with feelings.
There are already far too many players and people chasing an ego boost on dating apps. Don’t become one of them. Dating isn’t a competition to see who can break the most hearts.