PLENTY OF TRASH / 01—13
The truths.
13 truths are out now. A new truth is published every week.
Ask yourself why you are dating
Wanting a relationship is the easy answer. Do you also want the everyday life that comes with it?
Nobody is coming to collect you from home
I chose whoever happened to come along. It was easy. It was not always a good choice.
Don’t blame Tinder for how people behave
The app makes indifference easy. How we use it is still our responsibility.
Don’t fall in love with a profile
Digital chemistry can feel real, but the person begins on the other side of the screen.
Don’t hoard matches
When new matches keep arriving, the most interesting person may be the one you never answer. Try limiting your options.
Remember you’re not the only applicant
Being chosen is not enough. You have to want to choose the other person too.
Your mirror lies to you
Your self-image can become distorted. Dating makes you look into the mirrors other people hold up, too.
Don’t long for a time when you had fewer choices
A partner may once have been found closer to home and more quickly. That does not mean the choice was better.
Don’t collect matches to prop up your self-esteem
Collecting matches makes you feel wanted. But there are people behind them looking for more than approval.
Don’t force love to happen
Wu wei in dating means acting without forcing: participate in life without trying to turn every meeting into a relationship.
Don’t choose a partner by their year of birth
Being the same age does not guarantee compatibility. An age gap does not make two people the wrong couple either.
Change your energy
Masculine and feminine are imperfect words, but the dynamic behind them appears in dating all the time.
Don’t assume a new dater knows what they want
A new user may be eager to find a partner or just learning to be single. Sometimes they don’t know yet.